Constellations according to Hellinger
– what does it mean?
I have pondered on this question for a while: what does it really mean to stay true to “Hellinger’s approach”? I have tried to grasp it for some time now, mainly through practice of constellations and in contemplation. These are some of my thoughts, this far.
I am pretty sure it doesn’t mean wanting to stay with what he was doing and trying to emulate.
It doesn’t even mean we have to use the same method, whether so called “classical” or the so called “new constellations”, as more of us are finding different methods to be with what is essential.
One of the essential aspects of Hellinger’s approach is exactly that of constant change.
Another one is phenomenology: his path of insight was opened only to him. So, if we want to stay true to the phenomenology of Hellinger’s approach, we each have to find our own path. And we have to let it continually develop as it unfolds before us – for each one of us in a slightly different way.
Can we improve on this attitude, improve on this way of proceeding? No. And we don’t have to. Each one of us will be guided on our path in this way as Hellinger was, if we surrender to it and also do what it takes, what it requires of us.
He has described and modelled this approach for us. If we choose to take this path too, we won’t be following anyone, making anyone a guru, try to copy or to become a guru ourselves. And we certainly will not be frozen in time, as some are fearful about.
If we allow ourselves to be guided by the Spirit-Mind, as Hellinger himself did, we can all be originals, on our own path, no better or worse than anyone else, including Bert. All equally big among peers and all equally small in front of something greater than us.
That is the essence of the phenomenological path. That is the essence of the systemic approach. And that is the essence of going with the Spirit-Mind that Bert so beautifully described for us, in words and in action.
I can’t help but think that so much of what is happening within the constellating field these days is going in circles over the old ground that someone else has walked before us, putting a great deal of effort to add something of ours, to imitate, idolize or criticise and oppose. Most of these efforts come from a rational mind and reflect the Ego desire to make our mark and to increase our influence and our followers. So, we have “great diversity” but little depth. Our intellect and our will can only take us that far.
There are so many constellators nowadays offering constellations, promoting their particular way. It is my impression that very few, though, have the courage it takes to truly surrender to the phenomenological path of insight in the way Bert did.
At times I get concerned about such developments in the constellating field and also question myself in this regard. Then, as always, I go back to the wise words of the teacher and I relax immediately:
“In the end, everything will be shared with everyone else.”
Nothing to worry about. Everything has its place and everything develops as the Spirit-Mind wills it. Our job is only to agree with everything the way it is. This too, of course, is another essential aspect of Hellinger’s approach, which finds its way to live on.