Love & War: Anger of women towards men
We constellated one woman’s anger towards a man. It became clear that this kind of rage can not find its resolution between two individuals. The rage was too big, too impersonal, too old. We brought more men and more women into the constellation. A man, in a friendly manner tried to approach a woman who represented rage, but her fists were clenched and she said she could easily kill him right there and then. When we put a man behind him, like his father or male ancestor, the man simply collapsed like a child into his embrace, lacking strength. The rage then just collapsed to the floor. Other women gathered around it in a caring way. The male ancestor seemed to be strong, but turned his head away from the women and rage, looking into the distance. My image was that he wanted to go to war, so I placed a rep for the war at some distance. The rep looked strong and powerful. The male ancestor wanted to take his male descendant in that direction, away from the women, who he found boring and was not interested in. One woman from the group tried to stop him, to hold him, also to seduce him into staying, but to no avail. The male ancestor stood like a soldier and wanted to leave and take his male descendant to that direction. Another women joined the first woman to try and help with holding the man, and then another and another….they formed a chain, trying to hold onto him, to stop him. As they were doing that, the rep for the war was becoming visibly weaker.
The young man said to the older: “I can be a man in a different way. I can stay at home with the women, protecting them and the children”. The male ancestor then left the embrace of his male descendant and this group and the constellation circle, somewhat disappointed, went to the adjacent room. Another man followed and there they stood side by side and said, yes, there are many more here. I had the image of the army of millions marching to war, to their death. The younger man was embraced by women, a rep for the rage spontaneously withdrew, and all the women with this man, slowly formed a tight circle of connection and loving cooperation of equals. The seeker herself joined in, her very core moved deeply as she stood in a circle next to this man. As this was happening the representative for War collapsed to the floor face down, totally drained of strength and energy.
The image of this man in a circle intertwined with women had amazing beautiful energy of healing and unity, everyone present deeply affected. Me, the facilitator, included. As I was sitting in the outer circle, looking at this inner circle, I was looking at the back of the man and noticed that a male representative had a head shaven in a tomahawk hair style, reminiscent of native Indians. The “Warrior of Peace”, came to mind.
…..
Wars damage men and male lines. Wars damage a connection between men and women. Wars weaken men and reduce their healthy, masculine power. From that position they hurt women and can not connect with them in a good way. Women are alone, disappointed, angry. They push men away. Men feel they need to become heroes to regain their masculine power. But more war brings more weakness. The war weakens women and men and their connection, and also feeds the war of the sexes. In turn, their weakened connection feeds war.
Women have the power to stop the war, if they can overcome their rage and reach out to a man, and hold him, keep him at home, serving the feminine principle, serving life. Men have the power to stop the war, if they stop wanting to be heroes and employ they masculinity to building a home and supporting and protecting their family.
Yes, a woman follows a man, but only when he serves life, when he puts his masculine principle in the service of the feminine principle. Then they can both be in service of life, serving together, each from their unique position. This also might be a foundation and a precondition for world’s peace.
Alemka Dauskardt
image: Syrian artist Tammam Azzam
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